Water Boilers and Lazy Animals

Today is the first day of my half term. Two weeks off school, and with everyone in my Studentenwohnheim scurrying off home for the holidays I face the question - how to fill my two weeks living alone and without spending money. Well I suppose I could watch lots of German telly, rent some German films from the library, take strolls around town, and get through the pile of books I brought with me. All of this I intend to do, although I do know that I should be using this time to travel the country and visit people, go to Prague, and do all sorts of exciting things I don't have time for in my regular working week. However, all that will have to wait until next month, when I've been paid and am a little richer.

Anyway, this week I have managed to attend a German Biology lesson, a German Geography lesson about the landscapes of North and South America, and a German Maths lesson (I managed to get 3 out of 4 of the sums correct - a little embarrassing considering the pupils in the class were 12 years old, but I was nevertheless pleased to discover that I could remember at least something of my Maths lessons that finished 6 years ago). This was thanks to one of the English teachers not being able to come into school and so, as I am obliged to fill up my allotted 12 lessons a week productively, I decided that attending these lessons would be an interesting use of my time.

The rest of the time I've been learning to think on my feet and improvise. Having not been told what I've got to do before I actually get to some of my lessons, I've been given groups of kids and a topic, and been told to go and fill 45/20/15 minutes. At first it was a pretty scary experience - having to make it up as I go along, and thinking 'AAAAAH! I'VE GOT NOTHING PREPARED! WHAT DO I DO!?' but after a couple of times, it's not so bad - I suppose at least I should be grateful that I haven't had to spend every evening planning 2 or 3 full lessons like some of the other language assistants have.

Teaching your own language really does make you realise how much you actually don't know. Well obviously you know it, but you can't explain why. For example, doing some group-work with five 13-year-olds this week, and having to correct mistakes such as 'I have known him since 5 years' and 'I've been there for yesterday', the pressure was on as five beady eyes were on me looking for an explanation of when to use 'since' and 'for' correctly, and more importantly, why. So, with chalk in hand and a blackboard behind me (yes they still use blackboards and chalk in Germany) I tried to be every inch the knowledgeable and wise guide to the ins and outs of the English language they expected me to be. So, after stumbling through an explanation that even I wasn't sure was 100% correct, I wearily sat down and hoped that I'd at least been able to shed some light on this problem for them, and vowed silently that later on I would find out the answer once and for all.

It is a pretty strange experience being on the other side of a school environment. I am now a teacher/member of staff/adult in the children's eyes. They walk past me in the corridor and say "Hallo Frau Cropper" (I'm still not sure how comfortable I am being called Frau Cropper - it makes me feel a bit like an elderly spinster) and some look as though they're being led to the gallows when they come out to talk to me. On one occasion this week I got to a lesson before the teacher and as I walked into the noisy classroom, the students, who had all been chatting and laughing with eachother, promptly all went back to their seats, stopped talking, and looked at me. An awkward moment ensued, after which I panicked and assured them that they could carry on chatting until the teacher got there. 

Aside from my school pressures, I've really been appreciating the joys of the logical German language. After discovering mid-week that the kettle had started leaking and faced with the terrible prospect of maybe not being able to make tea, I realised that I did not know how to tell my Hausmeisterin (the woman who looks after the house and all the student residents) of this circumstance as I did not know the German word for 'kettle'. So, I approached a fellow housemate and asked (in German): "What is the that thing in the kitchen called that kocht (boils) Wasser (water)?". To which I received the reply: "A Wasserkocher". A 'water-boiler'? Really? Why didn't I think of that? Maybe because my language has stupid words like 'kettle' instead of just saying it how it is. I was further amused yesterday when I discovered that a sloth was called a 'Faultier' -quite literally a 'lazy animal'. 

So I continue to pursue my goal of being a German-speaker, and last night watched four 'How I Met Your Mother' episodes auf Deutsch. Although I probably got the jokes because I am a huge How I Met Your Mother geek and have seen them a hundred times before, I nevertheless allowed myself to wallow in the pride, happiness, and contentment that came from telling myself that I can now even understand humour in German.